Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
