yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
