i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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