I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
