i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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