plz talk dirty to me
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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