i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
