ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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