why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
