At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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