this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
