I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
