Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
