google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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