finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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