Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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