You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
