the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
