NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
