I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
