Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Drake has all the answers
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
