he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
