yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
