i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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