She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
