so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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