Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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