I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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