My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
