did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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