he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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