I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Damn victory sex feels great
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
