she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
