Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
