Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
