Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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