I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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