No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
