You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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