Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
