I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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