guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
