just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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