Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
