just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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