if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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