The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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