Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
