i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
