It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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