He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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