If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
