She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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