I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
