Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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