Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
