I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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