That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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