Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So squirting runs in the family.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
