He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize