He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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