i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
