I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
