i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize